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Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

MHC Library Quotes #10

When discussing the disciplining of children the following conversation transpired:

Employee 1: "I used to use a wooden spoon. Mom would use a thong. You know, one of those rubber thongs."
Employee 2: [Puzzled look.]
Employees 3: "Flip-flops."
"What, oh yeah. Same thing."
"[Sign of relief.] Oh, yeah. I was wondering what you were talking about for a minute. I thought you were talking about the other thing."
[Laughing by 2 and 3.]
"What? [Puzzled.] Oh! [Realization.] I guess. It goes to show how words can change over time."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Host a Windows 7 Launch Party. WTF?!

Today, technologically speaking, is a momentous day. Windows 7 is being launched and will be replacing the much maligned Windows Vista. To celebrate the occasion, Microsoft suggested that individuals host launch parties. It should be needless to say, but Microsoft’s marketing people dropped the ball again.

They posted a series of videos to help teach people how to host a launch party. You can see one of the videos below. The video is six minutes long and if you watch the digital clock in the background, you will see it move back and forth through time. If you do a Google video search using the terms: windows 7 launch, you will find a host of cheesy launch party videos created by/for Microsoft. The videos look like MADtv skits, but they are the real deal.

THE REAL DEAL


The videos are so cheesy that it would seem almost impossible to make fun of it, but someone did. Checkout the clever parody below. . .


Having run Windows 7 (and being a Mac head), I can tell you that my experience was far better than with Windows Vista. It is different, but was far smoother in my experience.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

MHC Library Quotes #9

When examining the periodical wall in the Vera Bracken Library the following conversation could be heard:

"We need to have more pretty looking magazines out here." - Female Staffer
"Yeah, we need Vanity Fair, or something like that. Oh, wait. There it is." - Male Staffer
"Oh, yeah we do have it."
"Yep, with Gisele Bündchenon on the cover."
"Who's that? [Inspects the cover.] Yeah, she's gorgeous."
"Yep, you could say that, but if I were a guy...."
"'A guy'?"
"No. Yeah. That's not what I meant to say."
"Huh?"
"What I meant to say is that, 'If I were less of a gentleman....'"
"Oh."
"Yes, I would agree and throw in a few more expletives."

Friday, April 17, 2009

MHC Library Quotes #8

As one employee passes another...

"I forgot I was thinking." - staffer #1
"You forgot you were thinking?" - staffer #2
"Yeah, I forgot I was thinking."
"How do you forget you were thinking?"
"No, it was about that smell. I forgot about it."
"Oh. Okay, I think I get it now."

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Library D'oh! Moment #2

In an effort to dramatize a situation, a male staffer slams the heal of his palm against his head. The problem was that he struck his temple and not his brow - too hard. This temporarily stunned him and gave him a mean headache for a half hour. D'oh!

The moral: If you poke fun at others, be sure that you do not become the punchline.

MHC Library Quotes #7

After fixing a falling light panel, a male employee jokingly comments that he must tuck and adjust his shirt to cover his “muffin tops” (a.k.a., love handles). After a conversation about modern body type terminology and the meaning of the term “butterface,” the following conversation took place:

Female Employee - "Yes, we saw a woman the other day. She was tall, blonde, and had a nice figure. [Female Employee #2’s Name] and I didn’t see her face, but we assumed she must be beautiful. Maybe not, but we wish we had some of that."

Male Employee "Ummm... you do realize that if I said that, I could lose my job. You might want to rephrase that."

[Laughing hysterically at her faux pas.] "That’s not what I meant. We wish we were that tall. We wish we had a little of that height."

"Okay. I’m going to go now."

Monday, March 2, 2009

MHC Library Quotes #6

When peering over the should of a cataloguer, another employee expressed interest in what she was cataloguing, but was soon disappointed.

"Oh, that looks interesting. [Pauses.] Oh... [lamentingly], too bad it's in French."

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

OMG, Did they actually do that...!?

Most, if not all libraries, offer and participate in a service known as interlibrary loans (ILL). Since no one library can house absolutely everything, the idea is that libraries will loan materials to other libraries. The borrowing library will, in turn, loan that material to their patrons.

Our ILL department switched to a Relais hosted ILL system last September. Due to firewall issues, our automated overdue notices were not being issued. The ILL staff was, with a good deal of success, trying to stay on top of things manually. This all changed when the college replaced its firewall about three weeks ago. An unexpected result was that the queued overdue notices were released – they were sitting there like water behind a dam, which finally burst.

The consequence was some kind (and not so kind) panic calls and e-mails being placed to our ILL staff. The staff calmed most of the patrons and assured them that this was a onetime occurrence. One of the borrowing institutions, which will remain nameless, did decide to follow-up on the overdue notice. As it turns out, it appeared as though the patron did not return it to them.

Now the funny part, the item was returned to us but sloppily stripped of all MHC Library Services’ markings. It appears as though the borrowing library shelved the item in their collection. It gets better though; the item was not the original we loaned out – it was a facsimile of the original. The coil binding was gone and replaced by a stapled version that used black book tape (not unlike thick hockey tape) to bind the spine. The tape was even sloppily placed on the book (it was off center and crooked). Unfortunately there is not much recourse that we can take for trying to locate the original, which either resides in the office of the borrower or the stacks of the borrowing institution. By the way, the item is The Ecology & Zoogeography of Fishes in the Missouri (Milk River) Drainage of Alberta by Thomas Andrew Willock, published in 1969.

This is a practice that was allegedly done by the original Library of Alexandria. It was suggested that they would “borrow” copies from other libraries, passing ships, and traders; the owners would, however, have copies of varying quality returned to them. It is good to see that another 2,300 year old library tradition remains alive and well.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

O Canada!

Yes, it is a beer commercial, but it is all too Canadian! Presenting a classic Canadian commercial that features "Joe the Canadian" (a.k.a., Jeff Douglas).



Have a happy and safe Canada Day! Cheers!

Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Day - "My Drunken Irish Dad"

Sorry, it has been a while since I made a post, but it really has been hectic around here. In the meantime, in honour of St. Patrick's Day I decided to post a little ditty that plays on Irish stereotypes - for which, despite my name, I can claim 1/8 of my ethnic heritage.

Without further ado (ignoring the 20+ seconds of a "talking" stuffed bear at the beginning), from Seth MacFarlane's Family Guy, "My Drunken Irish Dad":



Enjoy it while it lasts, YouTube is sure to pull it soon - the clip is really hard to find.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Ropin' the Blues 2008 - Moocha Libre

The library is participating in the college's annual Ropin' the Blues event today. To this end, we had to create some signs for our events. One of the events was Steer Wrestlin' & Laundry Sortin'. Jason (our interlibrary loan technician) joked that we should look for pictures of cattle wearing Mexican wrestling masks. That was all that was needed for me to do some Photoshop work on some clipart to create the "moocha libre" sign.

Click the image to enlarge it:










This little project was a collaborative effort involving Jason, Terry, and myself.

Friday, November 2, 2007

MHC Library Quotes #4

A discussion about the state of modern stamps...

"Did you see that the U of L is on a stamp?" - male staffer #1
"No, really?" - male staffer #2
"Yes, they have a picture of the main building."
"Oh, the old U-Hall?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"I heard that you can get custom stamps made in the States now. You can send in a photo and you will get a book of stamps that you can use. There might be something like that in Canada even."
"Really? Ooo, you can pretend your the Queen."
"Umm..., or not."
[Laughter]"Oh, that's right sorry."

By the way, you can can get custom made stamps made to order in Canada. Navigate to: http://www.picturepostage.ca, and begin creating your custom stamps.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Holidays! Whoo Hoo!

Well, I am off for holidays. See you all back on the 22nd - where health studies, history, and political science classes will be waiting for me!

In the meantime, enjoy these holiday songs from the 1980s! [I could not pick out one, so I posted them all.] Cheerio!

Holiday (1986) - The Other Ones


Holiday Road (1983) - Lindsey Buckingham


Vacation (1982) - The Go-Go's

Friday, October 5, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

It is the Thanksgiving Weekend in Canada and what would this weekend be without a classic clip from WKRP in Cincinnati (@imdb.com; @wikipedia.org). Click the play button and enjoy - at least until the video is pulled for violating copyright.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Go Simpsonize Yourself!

Have a little fun and get yourself Simpsonized! Go to: http://simpsonizeme.com/.

Here is what my image came out as:

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Bad Ideas: Good Riddance To...

The Library Marketing Committee continues to develop the brand for the instant messenger (IM) system that we intend to launch in the fall. The theme has been established, but we did discuss alternatives. One, that I am glad never saw the light of day, was: Digger, The Information Mining Gopher.

Click the image of Digger for a larger view:












The idea behind Digger was to create the absolute last thing that any of us would like to see. You know, present the worst possible ideas to the boss and hopefully he/she will pick the one you actually want. I hate myself for co-conceiving the little 5|-|17. My original notion was the iconic southern Alberta miner and relating it to "data mining" (which I did like); my co-worker (Valarie) suggested the gopher to add a cutsie-poo factor into the equation - this equals nausea and self-loathing.

Though I dislike the concept, it was not entirely without thought. The concept is based on two southern Alberta themes - the Richardson's Ground Squirrel (a.k.a, the gopher) and miners (since coal mining is still prevalent in the region) - and the notion of data mining. Despite the thought process that went in to it, the concept is still better off dead.

Another concept that I floated included a lighthouse theme. The obvious connotations include: illuminating the darkness to locate information, and the Lighthouse of Alexandria - where the famous Library of Alexandria was located.

As for the actual theme, well you will have to wait and see. It is, as the British might say, a little sexier.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Is this really me?!

If you work in a library, then you might be familiar with Unshelved. It offers unflinchingly humourous insights into what it is like to work in a library. I have been told that the following strip eerily represent me (to some degree).

Click on the images for a larger view:


Yes, anything to get out of a meeting.


No, I would not even think of doing that. Would I?

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Happy Canada Day - Mr. Canoehead

In honour of Canada Day, I wish to resurrect the memory of a long lost Canadian hero - Mr. Canoehead; our unofficial aluminum crime fighter.

Mr. Canoehead is the product of the comedy troupe known as The Frantics. For a brief time in the mid-1980s, The Frantics had a sketch comedy show on the CBC called Four on the Floor (@IMDB.com; @Wikipedia). Mr. Canoehead was one of their reoccurring characters that highlighted this quintessentially Canadian group/program.

Though the program was short lived, members of The Frantics have gone on to influence other great Canadian programs such as: The Red Green Show, History Bites, and Puppets Who Kill.

You can view the first installment of Mr. Canoehead below [NOTE: Press the play button, otherwise you will be redirected to the clip's YouTube page.]:

You can view more Mr. Canoehead videos at: http://www.youtube.com/user/Ransolix

Enjoy! Happy Canada Day!